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Erik is having trouble sleeping again.

He hates this. He hates it because it is a weakness of character that he swears he would not permit himself, but he also hates it because he knows there is a solution for this and it's one that he absolutely despises, given what happened the last time he allowed Charles inside his head to help him. Erik could laugh at the dismal nature of the situation. The man puts him completely off pace and makes Erik feel things that would get him beaten and bruised and bled to death in the camps, then acts as stubbornly naive as he does when Erik pushes him towards someone more suitable.

Emotions are only going to get in the way. Erik is going to kill Shaw and then he's going to make sure his childhood never repeats. The trouble is that he cannot sleep, thoughts of Cerebro and its metal and the wiring buzzing through his mind as he lies on the too-firm bed in the CIA establishment, sleep a foreign concept.

Perhaps if he leaves. He told Charles that he would stay, but he could leave for a few days to put some space between them and it wouldn't matter, would it?

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Charles' head still hurts, he can't recall every having an experience quite like Cerebro before. It was like he could feel the world and each mind but it left him feeling aware of all the spaces between. The way that Erik pushes him away, yet he knows there's want there and he feels foolish.

Almost everyone is asleep and he's sick of the sight of his room, so he gets up and starts walking. He's always found a comfort in sleeping minds as long as he's not in their dreams and that brings him back to Erik, who he can help.

It would be nice to try another night beside him but then what? He doesn't want something light and casual, he wants Erik and Iris.

Edited 2012-07-09 01:13 (UTC)

Erik tosses and turns long enough that he grows tired of staying in the same place as long as he has. He digs through the small satchel of possessions he keeps, unearthing cigarettes and his lighter before he escapes to the roof in order to smoke, something he tries not to do too often. It's a weak habit to need constantly, but good enough for a distraction.

And besides, it's something to do that isn't sleeping.

As he walks, he notes where everyone is and frowns that Erik's not in his room and searches for the sharp feel of his mind.

After a short debate with himself, he heads up the stairs, swallowing down an aspirin as he tries to will away his headache.

He stops in the shadow of the door before saying, "It's nice up here."

Erik spares only a brief look over his shoulder to Charles, exhaling the smoke in a smooth stream before turning his attention back to the stars. Company isn't something he's desperate for, especially not when things remain so fraught given how selfish Charles' wishes are. "It's tolerable," is his even reply. "You should be resting."

"I was getting sick of my ceiling and my head hurts just enough that putting my shields for the night feels too much like work,"

When he moves onto the roof, he slowly exhales, he was able to manage some meditation today but not much.

His thoughts and feelings are too complex and talking with Erik probably won't help but he wants to.

Erik arches a brow upwards, but turns away from Charles, hoping that the lack of eye contact will make this easier, along with the span between their bodies. "Why not let down your shields?" Erik points out. "Couldn't you tune the thoughts into a sort of lulling hum to put you to bed?"

"Thoughts and dreams have rather different qualities and I don't have any desire to end up in any more minds today unless I want to,"

With how he's feeling, it would be just his luck to end up in the midst of someone's nightmare. The way Erik positions himself just away is another ache, one more wall.

Erik does not want to discuss how his dreams would not be an issue, given that sleep is far from him. "You should leave the property, then. Find a secluded place for the night and sleep. Or open a door," he suggests. "Though I doubt that solves your problem, does it? Or can you tune people out there with more success?"

He shrugs and watches the night sky, they're good suggestions,

"No, minds are minds, the issue isn't with the place but with me. I think too much."

"Yes," Erik concurs with that assessment quite unkindly, turning in order to give Charles a scathing look. "You do. And you can be occasionally stupid for a genius." He inhales sharply, fingers curled around the cigarette as he smokes, staring upwards.

Charles almost smiles as that's the first time Erik's looked at him since he came up here and its all true,

"Oh yes, feelings and reason don't always go that well together."

There are times he figures out how to balance everything, Erik just doesn't fit into his normal ways of finding equilibrium.

Edited 2012-07-09 02:14 (UTC)

"I'm sure you're well-versed in that," Erik agrees curtly, using the heel of his shoe to put out the cigarette. He's not any more tired than before, but he ought to lie in bed and practice his fine motor control, if nothing else. "You should attempt to sleep before Hank insists on another marathon session in that wired trap."

"I've told him I'm not doing anything tomorrow and its not a trap. I chose to put it on and it does work. We need to make some adjustments so its not as tiring for me and to make it more effective. You should sleep too, perhaps look for a door,"

He'd like to make the offer to help with sleep but Erik is making it obvious that it wouldn't be welcome.

There's something that Erik's been meaning to try and he's aware that it might be somewhat cruel, but he wants to know whether Charles' internal desires are hypocritical or merely naive. "I was thinking of heading into the nearest town. I'm sure I'd have no trouble finding someone to share the bed with for an evening."

That wasn't what he expected and he opens his mouth and closes it before rubbing his temple. There's a fresh spike of pain and he hates this, which is stupid.

He's an intelligent man and Erik has made it clear that he will not be trifled with. That isn't what he wants either but what he wants doesn't seem to be an option. His desires are unhelpful since they're not terribly rational, yet he trusts in the truth of emotion.

It feels like it takes him too long to answer, "If that's what you want then I'm certain you wouldn't."

"You can help me," Erik says smoothly, turning in order to smooth a hand over his polo shirt. "What you did in Milliways, you can tell me how much of that someone else can do. Clearly, it's only for the evening, but I imagine I'll find more luck off the reservation, so to speak. There's a great pool of available people."

Perhaps he is being deliberately cruel, but it's what he's been shown through his life.

"You would need another telepath to put you to sleep and still your dreams. Were you thinking of someone?"

He wants Erik to sleep and be rested, he does and this is a way to help. This is what should happen, perhaps, he has Iris and Erik has his own needs.

When Erik turns away, he rubs the bridge of his nose to try and stop the pain and memories of how good it felt to give him some peace.

Edited 2012-07-09 03:16 (UTC)

Erik regards Charles cautiously when he turns back. "You see," he says, "when I discuss having someone else, that's what you're doing to this poor woman. It's tantamount to torture, Charles. Give yourself to her and stop this selfish charade. If you want me to inform you that you cannot have me, then it's what I'll do," he snaps, drawing in closer, shoulders hunched in order to earn Charles' eye contact. "Even if I find another telepath, it doesn't matter. I don't need companionship. Give it to someone who deserves it, who's worthy of such attentions."

"Fine, then let me help you sleep, nothing more. I could probably even do it up here to save any more difficulties or at least part of it, it might not be as effective,"

His feelings aren't a charade, but they are selfish. When Erik comes closer, he holds still and shifts his head to meet Erik's gaze.

His voice is tired and resigned as he knows Erik is worthy of him, but can't seem to show anything properly.

Edited 2012-07-10 01:48 (UTC)

Erik looks Charles over and steps back, given that Charles seems to be holding his ground steadily enough. "No, not here," is all he says. "Let's drive into town. You can leave me when I'm asleep and find your own entertainment."

"I'll only come back here to sleep, but yes, if that's what you want,"

He's not certain what Erik is looking for from him, he's hurting in many ways but he won't fall apart.

After all, he's had his entire life to learn how to learn to not show too much, it doesn't always work but its what he does.

"If you're only going to come back, then fine, we'll do it here," he sighs, gesturing towards the door. "After you, Charles. Let's get this over with. You should tell me about your lovely girlfriend as we walk." Perhaps it will remind him of his priorities.

Iris, who he hurt and in a way she'd never known before,

"She's not truly human. She may look it but she's a goddess and humanity is something she passes by as she delivers the messages of the gods. I fear I keep showing her the worst of us with my actions."

He walks through the door and towards Erik's room, not moving too far from him, but that space remains. Charles would gladly be closer but shouldn't be, Erik doesn't wish it, doesn't think he's allowed to have it. Also he shouldn't want it, he has Iris who wants all of him, yet as she pointed out isn't like him.

Edited 2012-07-10 02:48 (UTC)

Erik follows, but he keeps his distance as he doesn't wish to give Charles the wrong idea. Erik is stronger than that and can bury what he wants as far deeply as it will go. "A goddess has found you in her favour?" he muses. "Well, Charles, you see? A goddess and a monster. One does not deserve the very light that radiates from her beautiful form."

When they reach Erik's door, Charles stops to face him and says,

"You're not a monster. You're yourself; a strong, complex and infuriating man. Though you're right, I don't deserve her and the trust she gives me."

"If you don't see the creature that Shaw made me, then you don't look deeply enough," Erik says matter-of-factly. He's never hidden his intentions and he thinks that Charles ought to understand that Erik wishes to see the man dead and the world changed for better.

"I see the man you have become to take down Shaw, that is not the same as what he wanted you to become. If it was the same, you would have been with him and killed me when we first met,"

That choice to go against Shaw changes everything and while Charles doesn't approve of revenge, he understands how Erik has made it his purpose.

"You don't understand, Charles," Erik says thickly, because the great walled divide between Erik and Shaw exists only because of what Shaw did to Erik when he was a child. He agrees. He agrees with his plans and he still holds out hope that he and Charles can pursue the same goals, but it will never be with Shaw because Shaw killed his mother.

"No, not yet, but I hope to some day. Come to bed, Erik. We both need our rest,"

His voice is soft as he doesn't want to have this discussion tonight.

He's hurting and all he wants to do is hold Erik and rest but he can't. Instead he will be a good friend and help Erik sleep as they figure out where to go next.

He wishes that he could pretend that Charles' words are inviting him to go to bed with him, but it is not like that. "After you, Charles." Erik still isn't in his bedclothes and would like to get there before he settles down.

No, it is not like that for all that Charles wishes it were as well.

Charles nods and slips into the room, finding a place by the wall, he won't move too much into Erik's space.

Erik heads to the sole bag he has, digging out the grey t-shirt he keeps for sleeping and quickly strips off his shirt, padding around the room to search for a toothbrush. Efficiency falls second to these simple joys, given how he had been denied them in the camps. Now, he will indulge as much as he likes because he can.

Charles won't rush him, because this is the kind of domesticity he likes.

The moments between where things are for a time, people's minds are always quieter when they slip into a routine.

He also appreciates the chance to watch Erik walk around without a shirt, his body is elegant and he pushes his hand in his pocket to keep from doing anything.

There's a hint of a smile on his lips as he says, "Your toothbrush is over there where you set it down earlier."

Edited 2012-07-11 02:00 (UTC)

Erik glances over his shoulder -- a mistake, as this places Erik in Charles direct line of sight and makes him think of utterly terrible things. He forces those thoughts back down, picking up the toothbrush as he runs his fingers through his hair, unwinding small curls as he changes into his clothes, tugging the sleeves down over the mark.

Erik's thoughts are perhaps not surprising but not helpful, especially as he notes how Erik's hair changes and loosens. He wonders what else his hair would do, its always so controlled like him.

As he cannot act on these thoughts, Charles ever so slightly fidgets and feels as more of a fool.

He pulls his hand out of his pocket and runs it through his hair as a way to not look.

Its a move that reminds him of being a teenager and trying to figure out how to do anything with someone he liked.

Erik changes into the thin trousers quickly, ready to sleep, but still clothed enough that he could run at a moment's notice in the night. It's old habits, but they have done their task of protecting him quite well. "Well, I'm ready if you are," he murmurs.

"Yes, I am,"

He walks the few feet to be beside the bed and then sits on the side,

"Lay down and relax."

This is what he does, Erik will sleep and so will he just not in the same place.

Erik does as he's told, but relaxing for him is a crude impersonation of what a normal person might do. He lies stick-straight and folds his arms over his chest, lying there and staring at the ceiling. It will hopefully be enough to guide him to sleep.

"Someday I'll figure out how to get you fully relaxed,"

Charles mutters as he rests his hand on Erik's forehead and thinks and says, "Sleep."

Tonight, he can't stay to keep away all the bad dreams but he can use a technique that works in lucid dreaming.

Inside Erik's sleeping mind, he plants restful places and ideas of safety as he says. No nightmares tonight, Erik. Quiet, safety or if not quiet, pleasure, someday perhaps I can make those dreams be true. For now, dream happily.

Erik is peaceful until the point at which Charles practically promises to make his fantastical dreams come true. His eyes become pinched and he sends a lobby of a weakened, what dreams do you aim to bring to life? in a sleepy manner.

He sighs and gently kisses Erik's forehead as he thinks,

Never mind, just dream well.

Though 'never mind' has not been enough to quiet Erik's curiosity before, he feels as if there is a sharper command behind those words, making him relax, though the kiss to his forehead serves as a counter-measure, keeping him in a null balance in which he accuses Charles -- silently, in his thoughts -- of being a great and awful tease.

If I was going to tease you, I have more effective ways of doing it. Just go to sleep.

All he wanted to do was a bit more touch, but that clearly wasn't a good idea. Now his head hurts more, but Erik should sleep.

That is a command that Erik cannot ignore. Sleep comes quickly, then, brought on with the aid of Charles' power, and he succumbs -- with embarrassing ease. This time, he does not drop to hazy dreams, but rather to a stillness and to an overabundance of peace.

Once he is actually sleeping, Charles sighs and turns off the light as he leaves.

He has a harder time going to sleep but by emptying his mind, he is able to rest.

His dreams are fitful and sensual, so in the morning, he doesn't feel terribly rested.

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