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m!ways

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Shaw's got friends...

It echoes in his mind, even as he debates the merit of staying versus leaving. He has the information he needs, but Erik finds himself caught in a constant loop that seems to highlight what will happen to him if he strikes off on his own. He will pursue Shaw and then what? He's a mutant like Erik (like Charles) and he has mutant friends who can cut inside his mind and tear it to shreds.

Still, what good will a pacifist telepath and his teenaged sister do?

The CIA is hapless, as well, confused by the power that Shaw wields. So it is a difficult decision and one that he cannot make so easily. He retreats to his bedroom and lies on the uncomfortable bed, seeking out Charles with his mind as if needing that constant baseline and regular weight in his mind, even if he has not yet made a choice as to whether he will stay or go.

Are you awake?

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"I've never met anyone who should be mad. I try to ease and help, create balance where I can, but not add to the chaos of any mind. I won't make a person other than they are, simply help if I can. I draw my ethics from the minds I hear, their pains and hopes and dreams."

"Your optimism is sickening sometimes, Charles," Erik replies mildly, draining the last of his scotch dry, breathing through the fume as he regards him with a disbelieving exhalation. "Pains and hopes and dreams. You look at me and see hopes and dreams? It's only vengeance, Charles."

"Yes, I do. You hope to be free of Shaw and see the only way to do that is through vengeance. What will you hope for then, Erik?"

Charles takes another sip as he waits for an answer.

"Nothing." At some points, he has thought of dying as soon as he's rid the world of Shaw. Sometimes, he thinks of the joy of taking his creator with him. Others, he simply brings a weapon with him and lets Shaw destroy his creation before meeting his own doom.

There are so many options, but none are bright. "If there are others, though, perhaps I will need to set plans in motion before it ends."

"Yes, it would be best if you did. Consider that even if I'm not there, I'd miss you,"

He keeps his voice mild though the ease Erik says nothing worries him. His feelings for Erik are rather more complex than that as he exasperates and intrigues Charles and he doesn't want to know of a world without him. It would be duller and a loss for mutants and himself.

"You'd miss me?" Erik replies, dubious in his laugh. "Well, Charles, to prevent you from shedding tears over my body, then I shall do my very best not to leave you too soon." Still, if he should die in the face of Shaw's dying, it will be a life well-spent. "Though," he murmurs, staring at his empty glass. "I suppose I would miss you in turn."

"Yes, Raven teases me but she doesn't have quite your bite. I've found good conversation should never been taken for granted,"

He reaches for the bottle to refill Erik's glass with a light smile, his eyes are slightly more serious, but then they often are.

"I've been told I have quite the row of teeth," he agrees, getting up in order to top off both their glasses, filling his more-so. "Earlier, you were feeling restless. Is that a regular occurrence for you?" he asks in a murmur, glancing over his shoulder.

"Not quite like tonight, no. Usually I worry more about feeling overwhelmed. I have my shields and they help but I'm constantly adjusting them. This was more feeling uncertain of what's next and a desire for action that I'm unused to,"

That is all true but a great part of it is Erik's presence, he brings wants and thoughts to the surface of Charles' mind.

"I take it the CIA has interfered with your carefully constructed shields," Erik points out, holding out Charles' glass for him, eyes slipping down to his fingers for a brief and untoward moment before he rights himself. "Me, perhaps, as well?"

"No, they have no idea about my shields. You on the other hand keep providing challenges to them as you say come in but not too much and then decide to knock. I can't pin down what you want,"

His voice is teasing, but he holds Erik's gaze for a long moment. Then glances back into his glass and takes a sip.

Erik toys with the notion of telling Charles to look and see. In fact, he goes so far as to send the wave out to him. "For all I know, you've already seen all the way inside and are acting like a naive and blushing schoolgirl for my sake. I'm not ashamed, Charles, not of anything I am. So, look."

Charles laughs in surprise at that wave and invitation as he leans forward to close the distance between them, reaching his mind out to Erik at the same time.

He's been craving intimacy with Erik, but didn't see a way in and shows Erik the confusion he's created,

"There you go underestimating me again and I don't say things I don't mean. Which can be complicated."

Erik arches a brow teasingly at Charles. "I'm letting you in, Charles. I'm opening the door and letting you in, just mind your feet," he says evenly. "I don't do well with intruders tracking in mud."

"I'm always neat,"

Then he follows the invitation into Erik's mind as he allows Erik to see his own feelings; desire for touch, that above all.

Erik feels as though he's been struck in the face by the revelation. The unrest makes sense, now, and Erik wonders if it's because of the government installation. He chides Charles with a low clucking of his tongue as he leans forward and shifts his fingers over his neck, up his jaw, carding through his hair, gripping it until it hurts. "What? This?"

He gasps at the touch, shifting into Erik's hand as he thinks, No, you, you're rather bad for my balance.

Erik eases back, his fingers sliding away (though they drift and touch for a moment) and as he picks up his glass, it's like it never happened. Erik builds a foundation over his humiliation and the error of his gesture. "I see," he notes evenly. "Then you should find level ground."

The pulling back is unexpected and Charles feels lost before he senses Erik's feelings. He takes a long drink before leaning forward, his mind still open to allow Erik to feel his desire for more.

Then he carefully sets the drink down and places a hand on Erik's knee, "No, I'd rather not."

It's unexpected and Erik isn't sure what to make of it. In fact, he's rather wary of such gestures and now that the control has been taken from his hands, he finds himself doing little more than wanting. "It's one more way I could be shunned, doing this. One more triangle."

"Opening yourself up to anyone is a risk, but the rewards can be great. And you're not alone in anything we do,"

Charles is starting to get impatient with how Erik doesn't grasp that he's not alone, but he knows it will take time. This is just a moment when he feels like every second is important and he'd rather not wait. Erik does everything his way and Charles doesn't know what works best for him, but he will understand.

As if a switch has been flicked, Charles' words settle and pull a smile from Erik. He still feels fear and worry, still feels unsure, but there is a quip that he cannot avoid. "Well, you can be alone in some of it. Not as fun, though."

"No, I've found much of life is better with company," The quip is a sign of hope and Charles briefly smiles before thinking in a calm voice that has ripples of his want and confusion it.

I meant that about you getting me off balance. All the things I think I know of what to expect don't work with you. I like that.

"Well, yes, better," he drawls. "Still, not impossible when done alone," he reiterates his point, breathing in sharply when he feels Charles' voice in his head once more. It's because I've been torn apart, my mind invaded and my body ripped from me so that I could be reassembled in my creator's image. That's why.

"No, few things are impossible," Erik's thought is painful, but logical, he hates how Schmidt defines and shapes Erik.

He doesn't want to move his hand but he could do with a drink, his hand stays until he knows that there might be another moment of touch.

Yet you're not in his image or else you would have been on that ship working for him. Instead you are yourself, Erik Lensherr.