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m!ways

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Shaw's got friends...

It echoes in his mind, even as he debates the merit of staying versus leaving. He has the information he needs, but Erik finds himself caught in a constant loop that seems to highlight what will happen to him if he strikes off on his own. He will pursue Shaw and then what? He's a mutant like Erik (like Charles) and he has mutant friends who can cut inside his mind and tear it to shreds.

Still, what good will a pacifist telepath and his teenaged sister do?

The CIA is hapless, as well, confused by the power that Shaw wields. So it is a difficult decision and one that he cannot make so easily. He retreats to his bedroom and lies on the uncomfortable bed, seeking out Charles with his mind as if needing that constant baseline and regular weight in his mind, even if he has not yet made a choice as to whether he will stay or go.

Are you awake?

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He killed my mother. No matter how much I agree on any of his points, he took away the thing I loved most. Erik is strong and stalwart, now, but he finds that he leans into Charles' touch, turning his head away to hide the fact that his eyes are brimming with tears.

Charles reaches his hand up to turn Erik's face towards him and says quietly,

"You don't have to hide from me. I won't leave."

"I'd rather you not see me at my weakest," Erik replies hoarsely, though he goes with the touch, turning his face back to Charles. He licks his lips -- chapped and pink as they are -- and composes himself with a steadying breath. Now, it's as if there is no evidence of a trauma at all.

The way Erik can smooth out his pain hurts Charles to see, that he's so used to pushing it under.

For all that its gone from Erik's face, its still reflected in Charles' eyes and emotions and with his thumb, strokes from the corner of Erik's eye to his temple,

"Grieving isn't a weakness, it's a part of the you the same as your anger and your sharp mind. I'd like to know all of you."

"I thought you did," is Erik's mild reply, given that Charles seemed so intent on proclaiming that everything there was to know about him had been laid bare for him to read with his talents. The touch is soft, but welcome. It speaks of a kind of serenity he has not experienced in decades.

"I know many things but not everything and probably never will,"

He smiles as he this time follows the line of Erik's eyebrow to his ear.

Erik notes the path of Charles' gaze, surprised and curious as to where he is looking. He gives a short laugh when he sees it finish on his ear. "You did say you knew everything about me. Was that a lie, dear Charles?"

"I know what you've done and what you consider defines you, but no, I don't know everything about you. It was foolish of me to say that but not a lie. I do try to say what I feel is true, its just not always right,"

Charles looks down as he felt as if he did understand much of Erik but not all of him, that takes time.

Erik takes a slow and steadying breath, nodding his head when Charles' words seem to make enough sense that he can truly understand them. "Well, then, if you really are inclined to know everything about me, you can look. I can't promise that you'll like what you find, but it's better you know my intentions in regards to this facility and this agency."

And Shaw.

"May I show you some of why I feel as I do? I don't wish to overwhelm you again but sometimes sharing a memory or an emotion is simpler than speaking. That's how I learned so much of you, your memories are vivid and potent and..,"

He meets Erik's gaze again and shifts his hand to find a tiny scar on Erik's face.

"That's why I feel I do know parts of you."

Erik's lids flutter rapidly at the touch. He breathes in and out desperately to find some steadiness and when he eventually claims that calm centre, he merely nods his head, a gesture of permission given. "Yes. Show me."

Charles closes his eyes to look through his memories before opening his mind a little more. Then he shares meeting with Raven, the first time he encountered the memories of a veteran, then of a bully and his victim, the complex emotions for each memory.

The time he observed a woman being used as an example at Oxford for her psychosis, how he tried to bring her a little peace before going to be sick. Through all the memories, the simple thread of compassion because everyone hurts and feels and he does what he can for them.

Erik looks at these memories as though they unveil whole new worlds, but he still cannot truly see how they apply to him -- not utterly. Still, he comes out of it feeling as though he sees the world a little wider than before -- perhaps differently, if not brighter. "You're optimistic, though. You see these things with an optimist's eyes."

Within each of those memories is someone who felt or experienced something Erik has, which was why Charles chose them.

He opens his eyes as he says, "I try to be compassionate and find how we're alike. Each of those experiences helped me learn enough to understand parts of you."

"Well, there's the trouble and the difference between us. I've no compassion," he says, plainly. It's not something he means to have disagreed with, but a truth that he thinks ought to be states. "War takes that away first, along with dignity."

"Yet you're still here and letting me so close. It probably isn't compassion but its openness and trust which you have no reason to give. You are more than you see in yourself, Erik."

"There are other reasons that I let you stay and prod and poke at my brain," Erik assures, given that he is well-aware of why he stays. He smiles, barely, as he looks at Charles. "You see more. I see enough."

"You can see more. You can widen your gaze without losing sight of your goal. I won't keep you from Shaw,"

Though a part of him would like to as he hates what Shaw brings out in Erik, but he doe understand that driving desire is how Erik defines himself. He just wants to allow a few others in as well.

Erik gives a thoughtful noise. "Maybe not," he admits, but he's not entirely ready to give up his goal. "But you are a distraction. You buzz in my mind, Charles, and you keep me from doing what I ought to be because I'm thinking of you and your possibilities."

"You invited me into your mind and can tell me to leave. Though this is my room and I won't be asking you to leave until you wish to,"

He hopes that his possibilities will hold Erik for longer, he knows he can't hold him for too long but any time is better than nothing.

Edited 2012-05-31 01:35 (UTC)

"See?" Erik feels compelled to point out, leaning in to get closer to Charles in order to keep and hold onto his eye contact. "Distractions." And saying it aloud is almost what he needs in order to get him moving. He pushes to his feet, clearing his throat as he does. "Perhaps I ought to be the one to remove myself from this situation, then."

When Erik leans closer, Charles smiles and then he stands up and Charles looks up to him.

Erik keeps being unexpected and infuriating so that whenever Charles thinks he has a grasp on the situation it changes,

"If I'm a distraction then you get me off balance. I'd much rather grasp all those possibilities and see what we can do."

"And I know better than to give in to such weaknesses before I've had time to properly think them over." Outside of your reach is something that he doesn't say, but means all-together at the same time. "I'll take my leave, if you'll let me, Charles."

"Of course I will. I hope you'll be able to get some undisturbed rest tonight,"

He debates standing but that doesn't seem like the right choice so instead moves back to watch Erik.

"I'm sure I won't, not with so much on my mind." Erik has always been appreciative of being blunt, but he affords a firm nod of his head to Charles as he departs, closing the door firmly behind him as he goes.

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balancingminds - 2012-05-31 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

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