markedformore: (TIMELOOP: grave)
2011-11-30 11:47 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

It happens, again.

One moment, Erik feels himself safe in the embrace of his mother -- Schmidt dead behind him and the nightmare gone -- and the next, he finds he is back at the beginning and watching in horror as Schmidt requests -- asks, demands, insists -- that he move the coin. His anguish must be palpable and easy to hear from continents away and if Charles is nearby, it will be the first thing he hears. His fingers tremble and so he presses the blunt edge of filthy nails into his palm to stop them.

-- all that this does is cause his muscles to flex and the numbers etched on his arm stand out in stark contrast.

He cannot do this. He cannot live with this one more time. The hope bleeds out of him. The rage ebbs away. He is left a broken boy standing before his creator with no knowledge of what he is meant to do next. If they escape, he is brought here. If Erik stops Shaw, they are brought back here. In the distant recesses of Erik's mind, he is aware there is another option, but he cannot bring himself to think on it.

His shoulders lose the firm line of defiance and he wonders what is left to do but surrender to inevitability, if nothing else will work.
markedformore: (TIMELOOP: powers)
2011-11-30 03:31 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

When the world falls back to some approximation of normalcy, Erik takes stock in his surroundings. He knows his bearings well because he is back in Schmidt’s office, facing down his creator as he begins to run through a destructive script aimed to try and coax Erik’s powers into being. There is the familiar chocolate bar that will be uselessly used to bribe Erik. There is the room of utensils that Schmidt has (and will) use in order to turn him into something worth fearing and, as Erik knows deeply and with great heartache, there is the threat of something far worse lurking in the room so very close and yet unspeakably far away from him.

One thing is clear: whatever solution Charles and Billy have sought to force upon him has faded away and he is at the beginning once more. His opportunity has not faded away and it is almost as though a sign from God is being given to Erik.

He must.

He will.

There is precious time before his window of chance closes and he is once again brought to make a decision he does not want to make and be hustled along to a conclusion he does not wish to approve of. When Schmidt produces the coin, Erik regards it with careful consideration and thinks of how often he had rubbed his thumb against its’ smooth edges – how constant it had become in his life. Now, the only constant he recalls is the powerful surge of hatred for a man who chose to create Erik from pure grief and anger. He thinks of this and nothing else, making what must come to pass easier.

You made so many mistakes,” Erik speaks in a meek, disinterested childish version of his adult voice. It sounds distinctly unnerving and innocent at once and Erik finds he enjoys the effect.

It will make David slaying Goliath all the more enjoyable.

But most of all, you underestimated what killing my mother would do.” It’s clear that Schmidt doesn’t understand. Why would he? What Erik stands here and accuses him of is a product of a future that will not come to pass – not today. He dwells in the dark possibility and watches Schmidt carefully, aware that he will need to use the element of surprise and too much talking will detract from that.

Here he is, a boy once more. Innocence has been robbed from him by a whole population of fearful men following orders, but he has been subjected to experiments by a man driven by no one’s orders but his own and hope is what Schmidt had slowly stolen from him over the many sessions.

Today, that ends.

You should never have touched my family,” Erik says.

It seems so small – such an economical movement. He digs deep inside of him and seeks out the rage and the desire for vengeance and takes well to Charles’ lesson by tempering that anger with love of his mother. One short, sharp, final movement of his arm and the coin takes flight, suspended in the air for but a moment before it’s driven forward, splitting the hemispheres of Schmidt’s brain. He doesn’t take the time to enjoy this, too frightful that Schmidt will somehow turn this small window of opportunity against him.

He hears the coin hit the floor with an echoing clatter. For a moment, it is all Erik is aware of. He hears the coin, but does not register anything else – not the slump of Schmidt’s body, not the blood all over his face, not the feeling of further rage and relief and happiness and despair flooding through him. He hears the coin and he thinks that he must collect it.

He’s unsure as to why he does this, but he does. On shorter legs – shaking, just so – he moves around Schmidt’s corpse (buckled into his desk chair) and bends in order to pick up the coin, now stained with the blood of his creator.

Strangely, somehow, while it gives Erik a sense of comfort that he has accomplished his task, he is not happy. He sits, there, coin in hand, blood staining his trousers, his shirt, and his face, and he studies the Nazi emblems on the coin that rests in his palms while above him, a corpse lies bleeding.
markedformore: (TIMELOOP: what)
2011-10-13 10:48 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

The instant it happens, he knows.

There is a certain scent that Erik will never forget in his life and though he's made great strides in repressing it, it still flares up in his memories and his thoughts and his nightmares. The acrid taste of ash and death in his mouth will never leave him and now it permeates his being as strongly as the thrumming sensation that pounds through his body and tells him that things are different. "Weiterrücken," a guard just behind him commands. Erik lifts his gaze and stares forward at a new height -- or maybe he should say a height he's yet to see in some time.

"Eine minuten, bitte," he says aloud. He speaks mostly to hear his voice and the young timbre of it. He hears, faintly, the echo of fear in his voice and he wonders at why. He need not wait long. He knows what awaits him down that hallway. Schmidt's office with its torture devices are sitting and waiting for him to play. On the desk, there will be a coin. These are facts that Erik knows, well. Past the stench in the air and the press of a gun to the small of his back (from a man following orders), Erik knows what awaits him.

It is the strangled cry of a woman that causes Erik to stop in his steps. He sets aside so many things -- why he's here, why he's young, why he can feel his abilities returned to him -- because he would never mistake such a voice. It's the same one that permeates every dark nightmare and pleasant dream he's ever experienced.

"Nein," he speaks, uttering it repeatedly until grief all but swallows the word. He stands frozen until the guard loses patience and grabs him by the shoulder, dragging him the last of the way. He knows what happens on this day and Erik realises that he has the chance to change the fates. Perhaps it is a kindness that he's back in this terrifying place, but all his bravado and cheer fade away when he's set in front of the desk and in front of his creator.

Fear that he hadn't felt in decades infiltrates his body and mind. Erik lifts his head tentatively and comes face to face with his villain and his maker, both. He knows that his mother is just a door away as surely as he knows that the gun in Schmidt's possession will be fired today. At least, this is what history says. Erik stares at the coin with great dismay and wills control of his powers out from under the grief and the icy dagger of vengeance that seems stuck in his heart.

"Guten morgen, Erik, wie geht es Ihnen?"

Erik dutifully ignores such a mundane question, head bowed to the ground as he summons whatever strength he has. At the very least, Erik is blessed with the knowledge that he will change this day, if it kills him, he will.